Feeling the burn

Oh Em Gee I am feeling the burn.

No, it's not because I've been hitting the gym hard core. It's HEARTBURN. I have had heartburn for the past three days. Ad have not eaten anything out of the ordinary.

I've been trying to extinguish the flame naturally with foods that are supposed to help heartburn: bananas, apples, melon, yogurt, milk, fish, rice, etc. but nothing is helping. Yesterday I caved and bought tums. Yum yum. But to avail. The third day running, I finally resorted to the disgusting Bepto Bismol. The pill version. So I don't actually vomit. But nothing. I am at the point where I want to suffer through the pain of throwing up just to expel the excess stomach fluid from my body.

Ohh the pain. And on top of it I am on my way to work. DOUBLE PAIN.

Anyone have any suggestions to destroy the angry dragon in my chest?

-D

*Update*
I think I figured out what gave me this heartburn. The terribly cheap wine that my sister and I bought over the weekend. That'll do it I'm sure.

Eat Better, Live Better

With this year's complete bypass of Spring, jumping from Winter to Summer in two very confusing weeks, I started to clean out my closet. I put my winter clothes away and broke out my summer garments. This also came with the concrete evidence of the 30 plus disgusting pounds that I have put on over the past year. Whenever I bring this figure up, people claim, "yeah right, where are you putting it?" Well I have been "putting it" into fat jeans, sweatpants and baggy old man sweaters (which are still awesome, fat or skinny!) But with this weather, those disguises are no longer feasible.  My weight gain is incredibly noticeable when trying to squeeze my fat ass into shorts and t-shirts. For this reason I have tried to start dieting, eating better and getting more exercise.

Last week I tried to do a green smoothie cleanse, to kick start the spring clean up of my eating habits.  This lasted one day. By the end of it I was starving, and seriously, that is not the way I wanted to go. Evidently I love food, and I like eating. So starving myself is not going to happen.
Since then I have replaced two meals with green super-smoothies, and kept one real meal.  All the while snacking on healthy things like celery, cucumber and carrots, and my favourite, Grapefruit (without adding extra sugar! Go me). In one short week, I am still fat, don’t get me wrong, but the shorts that would not even do up when I first brought them out of the summer clothes box, actually do up.  Yes, I have a muffin top, and a noticeable spare tire... but MY SHORTS DO UP! That is a very good achievement for me, and a good step this summer, and reassurance about this diet I am putting myself on.

I have come up with a few great smoothie recipes and tips the past week. Before I would never put greens in my smoothies. There was something about green beverages (not including margaritas, or absinthe) that completely disgusted me.  However, as I have learned, it is just a colour, and nothing more.  The smoothie always takes on the taste of the fresh fruit you put into it. Mostly bananas. You can have a smoothie comprise of nothing but greens: lettuce, spinach, Swiss chard, celery, and if you add two bananas in, that is all you are going to taste. It turns out, I really like green smoothies, and I am getting so much more nutritionally from them. 

These are the things I have found work, (and don’t work) in smoothies.

Swiss Chard- My favourite Green to put into a smoothie

Swiss chard is high in fiber and protein, antioxidants, vitamins K, C and A.

Carrots-        Carrots are great for your eyes, they are high vitamin A, which is also good for your skin, and full of Antioxidants that help battle the ongoing war with the prospect of getting cancer. 

Avocado-     Avocados are super high in fat, but a good fat, so a little goes a long way! Avocados also have fibre, are good for your eyes, heart and (for women) your uterus!

Spinach-       I love spinach on anything, and that includes blended smooth in a delicious beverage meal! Spinach is high in fibre, vitamin A, E, C, K- pretty much the whole vitamin Alphabet! Not to mention it is delish.

Dragon Fruit- I put dragon fruit in all of my smoothies. It has a very mild, but sweet flavour, and is a super-duper-food. It is high in fibre, is a low calorie food, high in vitamin C, and the B vitamins, and helps keep your heart in tip top shape. It controls cholesterol and is full of calcium, and packed with antioxidants. It also can help prevent prostate cancer.

Kale-            I HATE kale. In my smoothies. Maybe I didn’t do it right, but this did not blend well and I had to strain my smoothie because it was unbearable. It also tasted gross. But I had to choke it down. Kale is a super food though. I don’t want to cut it out of my life. Kale is high in fibre, vitamin K, C, and calcium, and is a great detox food. I made Kale chips today, and they are actually not terrible! (I drizzled them with oil, and tossed them with chia seeds, a little bit of sea salt, ground flax and chili pepper… so they are topped with nutrition!)

Those are my favourite, and 1 not-so-fav things to put in smoothies. In addition to berries, apples, pears, mangos, melon, bananas etc. All together they are a powerfully nutritious and delicious meal replacement. They are also pretty filling. I think it is because you take your time drinking a smoothie. It takes me about a half hour to finish off my smoothie. And in between sips, I am constantly drinking water. If I am hungry after I am done, I can always have more.  Or I have cut up vegetables with hummus, a grapefruit, and/or a low fat yogurt. Talking about it now, it is easy to see how my shorts did up after only a week of this.  This encourages me to continue this system for the summer!  

I will continue with updates on how my de-fatting is going. My goal is to lose about 1-2 pounds a week. So by the end of the summer I should be at my target weight.


-D


   

Darcman Returns

Hello friends,

I'm back, after an incredibly stressful and nauseating month, I am finished with another semester at UofG. I know I said I would be back last week, but I decided to do bum fuck NOTHING for the past week.

So the past month in my life consistent of writing final papers, writing exams. Crying myself to sleep and working at WalMart. God I love my life. I now have two weeks before my final semester at university. Hopefully OSAP doesn't get all annoying like they usually do and I can finish my degree in peace. But I'm not keeping my fingers crossed because I have literally had to push them off my back twice. Year for 4 years... And my grades really aren't THAT bad. I don't have my grades back yet but I know I did really well in my Ottoman history course. So that's good.
I am taking a full course load this summer 2.5 credits. It's going to be really tough but it's my last effing one so I'm gonna rock it! I've already started on the reading haha.
The weather is starting to thaw out which is nice, we're cooking on the BBQ and actually going outside. It makes everything much better. My plants are coming along nicely, indoors and outdoors. The lilies I transplanted last year came back. I thought I killed them in the move, but they are looking good. I planted more Lillie's in with them and some Hostas hopefully they are ok. I also planted some wild flowers, but then we got a ridiculously cold weekend so those are probably toast. The daffodils are in bloom-its cancer awareness month btw.
Inside my hyacinths are growing as are my glads. My tulips are nowhere to be seen though. Bummer. But my sweetness are popping up like rabbits and I have a few blue flax too. It's finally nice that I can have them outside for the day.
My trip to Ottawa this summer is canceled. Which sucks but it saves me money so no big deal. We're gonna have to figure out another way to celebrate my little sisters 19th birthday locally.
Leighton has started potty training and is doing pretty good. Aaaannnndddd Kayla and I found out we are having another boy! So we will be welcoming an Avery Jacques Lambercy to our family later this year!
That pretty much sums up my month of absence. And I promise I will attend to the blog regularly from here on out.

-D

BRB

Hi folks,

I just wanted to pop in and let yahs know that I haven't forgotten about my blog.  It is the end of the semester so I have been super swamped with school. My last exam is Monday, so I will be back to regular blogging Tuesday!

Sorry about the absence, but I promise I will brb!

-D

WTF Wednesday: Stupid Drivers

Hi folks,

Stupid lazy person who apparently
doesn't own a snow brush... 

WTF is wrong with drivers these days? Honestly I have never been exposed to more idiots on the road then I have commuting to school this year. I honestly don't understand how some people have their licenses! The other day I was behind thee people who just didn't bother to wipe the snow off their rear windows... That implies to me that they NEVER use their rear view mirror.because what use is a review mirror when you cannot even see out of the rear view. It is just lazy and dangerous, but then again I don't think that anyone cares about other people's safety on the roads anymore. Not wiping off your rear windshield is a huge pet peeve of mine. The other day I managed to snap a photo at a red light of one of these idiots. This is CLEARLY not safe.... but this one wasn't even one of the worst ones I have seen

Another thing that irks-my-chain is when people do not use their blinker lights, or don't use them properly. Just to let everyone know, when you put your blinker light on when you are already merged in front of me, it kind of defeats the purpose. But it on when you first fucking think about merging because I already got the point when you are in front of me. Furthermore, turn your blinker light off when it is no longer needed. People who drive with their damn blinker light on should be exiled from society. Today as I was driving home, one of these lunatics was weaving between lanes, like a psycho, without using his blinker light. I swore to God I was certain i was going to see an accident LIVE.  This douchebag was not only doing this on the highway, but in the middle of the city too.  At one point I swear to god this guy fell asleep at a red light.  I was blessed to have been stuck behind this person, when we hit a red light, that turned green, he did not go.  I waited a respectful amount of time... like 3 seconds, before I honked my horn. Nothing. I honked it again (twice) and the guy sped off like a crazy person, to continue weaving through traffic... at rush hour. Sheesh, people.

Stupid Truck Driver

Another Stupid Truck Driver

Another thing I hate on the road are transport trucks. I don't even know if you need a real license to drive one of these things.  Truck drivers are lunatics. One time in Guelph a stupid idiot of a truck driver almost crushed Kayla, Goob and I. He decided to merge into a lane, in which we were in.  I was laying on my horn to notify him that we were there, but that did not stop him.  I ended up driving up on the curb to avoid being run over.  I understand there is a huge blind spot, but that's why truck drivers need to learn how to drive more then the rest of us!
I don't know if I missed a memo or not, but last time I checked the Left lane of a highway used to be a sanctuary for the common driver to freely pass these idiots. Apparently not anymore.  Transport trucks have invaded this sacred space too.  Today on my drive home there were 7 different transport trucks in the left lane. I managed to provide evidence of this crap. each of these trucks have merged into this sacred lane in order to pass other trucks. I am sorry but if the truck in front of you is going slow, you adjust your speed. You do NOT merge in front of me and obstruct my driving. I had to turn my cruise control off three times on my commute home because of these losers. So. Not. Cool.

Thats my WTF for this Wednesday. I hate stupid drivers.

-D

This is traffic I ran into one day on the 401,  east bound. It took me almost an hour to get through a 5 min stretch of Highway... needless to say I did NOT make my first class. 

10 Things I Hate about my Job

1. The customers
2. Talking to customers
3. Listening to customers
4. Interacting with customers
5. Seeing customers
6. Touching customers' money
7. Smelling customers
8. Processing customers' transactions
9. Bagging customers' groceries
10. The customers: I hate them so much it takes up two spots on the list

These are two pages out of an "Ambassador's Handbook"
Which is ironic because I got a Front End Newsletter that basically said all the cashiers are failures and suck... i was going to upload it to the blog, but Kayla threw it out! UGH

Either way... I pretty much hate my job.
But I am not allowed to slander the company... so I will not say where I work on my blog... hahaha

Take care friends
-D

My oh My, it's Monday

Hi Folks

Today is Monday, and that means it is the start of another week, and the end of another weekend.

What was I up to this weekend? Well I was certainly not lighting London on fire and attacking newscasters and police officers. Well done Fanshawe students! You behaved like civilized, educated human beings this year! (For those who are unaware, last year at St. Patties Day, a mob of young Londoners, mainly consisting of students at Fanshawe College, got drunk and mad absolute fools of themselves and completely disgraced us young, educated people.  The went into mob mentality mode and drunk rioted in the streets around the campus. In short they were complete idiots. That did not happen this year. Congratulations.)

No I do not typically celebrate St Patties day. mostly because I am not a huge party-er, and 95% of the time I work on this day.  Which this year was no exception.  I did however actually venture from my bat cave, and went out in public. For the first time in Lord knows how long.  Oh the Lord is texting me that He doesn't even remember when... Oiy. Anyhow. On Friday night Kayla and I went to our dear friend's community play in Hillsburg. It was a wonderful community play (Here Lies Jeremy Troy, playing at the Century Church Theatre in Hillsburg until March 24, I recommend checking it out.) in which my talented friend absolutely steals the show.  I am not saying that just as her friend. I am saying that as a drama student of 4 years through high school who has been instinctively trained to critique plays haha. I am not kidding when I say Linds steals the show, she was HIlarious!

The rest of the weekend involved me standing around at work because it was so effing dead in WalMart this weekend.  On Sunday something crazy happened.  I ate a clementine at work on my lunch, and it tasted funny, but i ate it anyways.  about a half hour late I had to get someone to cover my till while i went to throw up.  Cray-Cray. Lesson learned... never continue eating a weird tasting clementine.

As the Monday progresses I have a pit in my stomach because as I write this, my professor just reminded the class that we are in week 10 of the semester. So I am signing off and going to throw up (out of stress not out of gross fruit lol)

Have a good Monday friends.
-D