Feeling the burn

Oh Em Gee I am feeling the burn.

No, it's not because I've been hitting the gym hard core. It's HEARTBURN. I have had heartburn for the past three days. Ad have not eaten anything out of the ordinary.

I've been trying to extinguish the flame naturally with foods that are supposed to help heartburn: bananas, apples, melon, yogurt, milk, fish, rice, etc. but nothing is helping. Yesterday I caved and bought tums. Yum yum. But to avail. The third day running, I finally resorted to the disgusting Bepto Bismol. The pill version. So I don't actually vomit. But nothing. I am at the point where I want to suffer through the pain of throwing up just to expel the excess stomach fluid from my body.

Ohh the pain. And on top of it I am on my way to work. DOUBLE PAIN.

Anyone have any suggestions to destroy the angry dragon in my chest?

-D

*Update*
I think I figured out what gave me this heartburn. The terribly cheap wine that my sister and I bought over the weekend. That'll do it I'm sure.

Eat Better, Live Better

With this year's complete bypass of Spring, jumping from Winter to Summer in two very confusing weeks, I started to clean out my closet. I put my winter clothes away and broke out my summer garments. This also came with the concrete evidence of the 30 plus disgusting pounds that I have put on over the past year. Whenever I bring this figure up, people claim, "yeah right, where are you putting it?" Well I have been "putting it" into fat jeans, sweatpants and baggy old man sweaters (which are still awesome, fat or skinny!) But with this weather, those disguises are no longer feasible.  My weight gain is incredibly noticeable when trying to squeeze my fat ass into shorts and t-shirts. For this reason I have tried to start dieting, eating better and getting more exercise.

Last week I tried to do a green smoothie cleanse, to kick start the spring clean up of my eating habits.  This lasted one day. By the end of it I was starving, and seriously, that is not the way I wanted to go. Evidently I love food, and I like eating. So starving myself is not going to happen.
Since then I have replaced two meals with green super-smoothies, and kept one real meal.  All the while snacking on healthy things like celery, cucumber and carrots, and my favourite, Grapefruit (without adding extra sugar! Go me). In one short week, I am still fat, don’t get me wrong, but the shorts that would not even do up when I first brought them out of the summer clothes box, actually do up.  Yes, I have a muffin top, and a noticeable spare tire... but MY SHORTS DO UP! That is a very good achievement for me, and a good step this summer, and reassurance about this diet I am putting myself on.

I have come up with a few great smoothie recipes and tips the past week. Before I would never put greens in my smoothies. There was something about green beverages (not including margaritas, or absinthe) that completely disgusted me.  However, as I have learned, it is just a colour, and nothing more.  The smoothie always takes on the taste of the fresh fruit you put into it. Mostly bananas. You can have a smoothie comprise of nothing but greens: lettuce, spinach, Swiss chard, celery, and if you add two bananas in, that is all you are going to taste. It turns out, I really like green smoothies, and I am getting so much more nutritionally from them. 

These are the things I have found work, (and don’t work) in smoothies.

Swiss Chard- My favourite Green to put into a smoothie

Swiss chard is high in fiber and protein, antioxidants, vitamins K, C and A.

Carrots-        Carrots are great for your eyes, they are high vitamin A, which is also good for your skin, and full of Antioxidants that help battle the ongoing war with the prospect of getting cancer. 

Avocado-     Avocados are super high in fat, but a good fat, so a little goes a long way! Avocados also have fibre, are good for your eyes, heart and (for women) your uterus!

Spinach-       I love spinach on anything, and that includes blended smooth in a delicious beverage meal! Spinach is high in fibre, vitamin A, E, C, K- pretty much the whole vitamin Alphabet! Not to mention it is delish.

Dragon Fruit- I put dragon fruit in all of my smoothies. It has a very mild, but sweet flavour, and is a super-duper-food. It is high in fibre, is a low calorie food, high in vitamin C, and the B vitamins, and helps keep your heart in tip top shape. It controls cholesterol and is full of calcium, and packed with antioxidants. It also can help prevent prostate cancer.

Kale-            I HATE kale. In my smoothies. Maybe I didn’t do it right, but this did not blend well and I had to strain my smoothie because it was unbearable. It also tasted gross. But I had to choke it down. Kale is a super food though. I don’t want to cut it out of my life. Kale is high in fibre, vitamin K, C, and calcium, and is a great detox food. I made Kale chips today, and they are actually not terrible! (I drizzled them with oil, and tossed them with chia seeds, a little bit of sea salt, ground flax and chili pepper… so they are topped with nutrition!)

Those are my favourite, and 1 not-so-fav things to put in smoothies. In addition to berries, apples, pears, mangos, melon, bananas etc. All together they are a powerfully nutritious and delicious meal replacement. They are also pretty filling. I think it is because you take your time drinking a smoothie. It takes me about a half hour to finish off my smoothie. And in between sips, I am constantly drinking water. If I am hungry after I am done, I can always have more.  Or I have cut up vegetables with hummus, a grapefruit, and/or a low fat yogurt. Talking about it now, it is easy to see how my shorts did up after only a week of this.  This encourages me to continue this system for the summer!  

I will continue with updates on how my de-fatting is going. My goal is to lose about 1-2 pounds a week. So by the end of the summer I should be at my target weight.


-D


   

Darcman Returns

Hello friends,

I'm back, after an incredibly stressful and nauseating month, I am finished with another semester at UofG. I know I said I would be back last week, but I decided to do bum fuck NOTHING for the past week.

So the past month in my life consistent of writing final papers, writing exams. Crying myself to sleep and working at WalMart. God I love my life. I now have two weeks before my final semester at university. Hopefully OSAP doesn't get all annoying like they usually do and I can finish my degree in peace. But I'm not keeping my fingers crossed because I have literally had to push them off my back twice. Year for 4 years... And my grades really aren't THAT bad. I don't have my grades back yet but I know I did really well in my Ottoman history course. So that's good.
I am taking a full course load this summer 2.5 credits. It's going to be really tough but it's my last effing one so I'm gonna rock it! I've already started on the reading haha.
The weather is starting to thaw out which is nice, we're cooking on the BBQ and actually going outside. It makes everything much better. My plants are coming along nicely, indoors and outdoors. The lilies I transplanted last year came back. I thought I killed them in the move, but they are looking good. I planted more Lillie's in with them and some Hostas hopefully they are ok. I also planted some wild flowers, but then we got a ridiculously cold weekend so those are probably toast. The daffodils are in bloom-its cancer awareness month btw.
Inside my hyacinths are growing as are my glads. My tulips are nowhere to be seen though. Bummer. But my sweetness are popping up like rabbits and I have a few blue flax too. It's finally nice that I can have them outside for the day.
My trip to Ottawa this summer is canceled. Which sucks but it saves me money so no big deal. We're gonna have to figure out another way to celebrate my little sisters 19th birthday locally.
Leighton has started potty training and is doing pretty good. Aaaannnndddd Kayla and I found out we are having another boy! So we will be welcoming an Avery Jacques Lambercy to our family later this year!
That pretty much sums up my month of absence. And I promise I will attend to the blog regularly from here on out.

-D

BRB

Hi folks,

I just wanted to pop in and let yahs know that I haven't forgotten about my blog.  It is the end of the semester so I have been super swamped with school. My last exam is Monday, so I will be back to regular blogging Tuesday!

Sorry about the absence, but I promise I will brb!

-D

WTF Wednesday: Stupid Drivers

Hi folks,

Stupid lazy person who apparently
doesn't own a snow brush... 

WTF is wrong with drivers these days? Honestly I have never been exposed to more idiots on the road then I have commuting to school this year. I honestly don't understand how some people have their licenses! The other day I was behind thee people who just didn't bother to wipe the snow off their rear windows... That implies to me that they NEVER use their rear view mirror.because what use is a review mirror when you cannot even see out of the rear view. It is just lazy and dangerous, but then again I don't think that anyone cares about other people's safety on the roads anymore. Not wiping off your rear windshield is a huge pet peeve of mine. The other day I managed to snap a photo at a red light of one of these idiots. This is CLEARLY not safe.... but this one wasn't even one of the worst ones I have seen

Another thing that irks-my-chain is when people do not use their blinker lights, or don't use them properly. Just to let everyone know, when you put your blinker light on when you are already merged in front of me, it kind of defeats the purpose. But it on when you first fucking think about merging because I already got the point when you are in front of me. Furthermore, turn your blinker light off when it is no longer needed. People who drive with their damn blinker light on should be exiled from society. Today as I was driving home, one of these lunatics was weaving between lanes, like a psycho, without using his blinker light. I swore to God I was certain i was going to see an accident LIVE.  This douchebag was not only doing this on the highway, but in the middle of the city too.  At one point I swear to god this guy fell asleep at a red light.  I was blessed to have been stuck behind this person, when we hit a red light, that turned green, he did not go.  I waited a respectful amount of time... like 3 seconds, before I honked my horn. Nothing. I honked it again (twice) and the guy sped off like a crazy person, to continue weaving through traffic... at rush hour. Sheesh, people.

Stupid Truck Driver

Another Stupid Truck Driver

Another thing I hate on the road are transport trucks. I don't even know if you need a real license to drive one of these things.  Truck drivers are lunatics. One time in Guelph a stupid idiot of a truck driver almost crushed Kayla, Goob and I. He decided to merge into a lane, in which we were in.  I was laying on my horn to notify him that we were there, but that did not stop him.  I ended up driving up on the curb to avoid being run over.  I understand there is a huge blind spot, but that's why truck drivers need to learn how to drive more then the rest of us!
I don't know if I missed a memo or not, but last time I checked the Left lane of a highway used to be a sanctuary for the common driver to freely pass these idiots. Apparently not anymore.  Transport trucks have invaded this sacred space too.  Today on my drive home there were 7 different transport trucks in the left lane. I managed to provide evidence of this crap. each of these trucks have merged into this sacred lane in order to pass other trucks. I am sorry but if the truck in front of you is going slow, you adjust your speed. You do NOT merge in front of me and obstruct my driving. I had to turn my cruise control off three times on my commute home because of these losers. So. Not. Cool.

Thats my WTF for this Wednesday. I hate stupid drivers.

-D

This is traffic I ran into one day on the 401,  east bound. It took me almost an hour to get through a 5 min stretch of Highway... needless to say I did NOT make my first class. 

10 Things I Hate about my Job

1. The customers
2. Talking to customers
3. Listening to customers
4. Interacting with customers
5. Seeing customers
6. Touching customers' money
7. Smelling customers
8. Processing customers' transactions
9. Bagging customers' groceries
10. The customers: I hate them so much it takes up two spots on the list

These are two pages out of an "Ambassador's Handbook"
Which is ironic because I got a Front End Newsletter that basically said all the cashiers are failures and suck... i was going to upload it to the blog, but Kayla threw it out! UGH

Either way... I pretty much hate my job.
But I am not allowed to slander the company... so I will not say where I work on my blog... hahaha

Take care friends
-D

My oh My, it's Monday

Hi Folks

Today is Monday, and that means it is the start of another week, and the end of another weekend.

What was I up to this weekend? Well I was certainly not lighting London on fire and attacking newscasters and police officers. Well done Fanshawe students! You behaved like civilized, educated human beings this year! (For those who are unaware, last year at St. Patties Day, a mob of young Londoners, mainly consisting of students at Fanshawe College, got drunk and mad absolute fools of themselves and completely disgraced us young, educated people.  The went into mob mentality mode and drunk rioted in the streets around the campus. In short they were complete idiots. That did not happen this year. Congratulations.)

No I do not typically celebrate St Patties day. mostly because I am not a huge party-er, and 95% of the time I work on this day.  Which this year was no exception.  I did however actually venture from my bat cave, and went out in public. For the first time in Lord knows how long.  Oh the Lord is texting me that He doesn't even remember when... Oiy. Anyhow. On Friday night Kayla and I went to our dear friend's community play in Hillsburg. It was a wonderful community play (Here Lies Jeremy Troy, playing at the Century Church Theatre in Hillsburg until March 24, I recommend checking it out.) in which my talented friend absolutely steals the show.  I am not saying that just as her friend. I am saying that as a drama student of 4 years through high school who has been instinctively trained to critique plays haha. I am not kidding when I say Linds steals the show, she was HIlarious!

The rest of the weekend involved me standing around at work because it was so effing dead in WalMart this weekend.  On Sunday something crazy happened.  I ate a clementine at work on my lunch, and it tasted funny, but i ate it anyways.  about a half hour late I had to get someone to cover my till while i went to throw up.  Cray-Cray. Lesson learned... never continue eating a weird tasting clementine.

As the Monday progresses I have a pit in my stomach because as I write this, my professor just reminded the class that we are in week 10 of the semester. So I am signing off and going to throw up (out of stress not out of gross fruit lol)

Have a good Monday friends.
-D

Fashion Friday: The Old Man Sweater

Hiya Folks,

Today I am going to start a fashion advice segment because, well I have quite the eye for Fashion (as I sit here in ripped and stained grey track pants paired with a grey zip up sweater, under a pea coat. . . Yes a pea coat. Track pants and pea coats is like, my signature).

But hey, look how Kelly Cutrone dresses and she is a big wiz in the fashion world. Just because I don't dress like Justin Timberlake doesn't mean I don't know a thing or two about the wonderful world of style.

Today is for the gentlemen out there and the topic is: The Old Man Sweater.

The old man sweater is awesome, and anyone who says otherwise is just lame, and stupid, and clearly is blind. I own my fair share of Old Man sweaters. They make a statement. They are hip, comfortable, stylish, and Awesome. They can be worn with anything- literally anything. I wear them with hats, shorts, jeans, underwear, socks, and sometimes all you need is just an Old Man sweater to feel awesome- and come in so many styles, designs and fabrics that there is only one word to describe their awesomeness:
Awesome.

The Old Man sweater is not reserved for the retired gentleman who smells of tobacco, shoe polish and whiskey, but for men (and sometimes women) of all ages and body types. The Old Man sweater transcends generations and can be a family heirloom passed down from generation to generation. That is the fate I want my Old Man sweaters to have, so be passed onto my son, and grandsons, and great grandsons.

The Old Man Sweater also gives one the confidence to be awesome human beings.  Check out my awesome photo shoot.  Look how confident and lively I am. I believe it is because the sheer coolness that the Old Man sweater automatically makes the wearer. Just imagine if I wore all of these Old Man sweaters at once. The world would not be able to handle the person I would be.  Nations would probably just throw their countries at me to rule them.  But with the great awesomeness that the Old Man sweater gives a wearer, comes great responsibility.  I would never abuse that power, and that is why I will always limit myself to wearing one Old Man sweater at a time.  It is for the good of humanity.

This proves that although the Old Man sweater makes one awesome, it also creates a humble and down to earth person.  Old Man sweater wearers become amazing human beings, both awesome and humble.

I hope this has inspired you all to invest in an Old Man sweater (if you can manage to limit yourself to only one.... good luck with that though!)

-D

Wednesday's Wonderful World: Springtime

I am going to start a segment of this blog called "Wednesday's Wonderful World" and post things that I think are wonderful in this world on Wednesdays. 

Today I have chosen Springtime.

After a wonderfully warm Weekend, we have gotten more cold and snow.  I am not complaining, trust me, because I am one of those rare Canadians who enjoy winter (crazy Canuck I know!) But the nice warm weather, mixed with the images of Easter put me in a springtime kind of mood. 

I have a poster version of Van Gogh's Pink Peach Blossoms hanging in my living room. It's such a bright and fun picture that captures the essence of springtime nicely. 

Growing up there was an apple tree at the top of a hill by my house, and the smell of springtime was the smell of apple blossoms wafting down the hill.  I think that is partly why I eat so many apples this time of year. Today for example, I brought two on my lunch! 

Springtime is also a time of Easter which is always an exciting time of year, for me anyways.  It is one of my favourite holidays because my family goes to the Farm.  Going to the farm at this time of year means what? Baby Calves. . . well I suppose the word Calf implies baby, but they are just so darn cute that you just have to call them Baby Calves! And Chocolate! JuJubes, and Jelly Beans. All the finest things of Spring! 

Springtime also bring warm blood flowing back into your body, which is invigorating  The winter blues start to turn into a wonderful pastel colour, eggshell blue we shall say, and soon enough you are feeling yellows and greens, oranges and all the other colours that generally make people happy. The wonderful thing about Spring is that it is a time where people stop bitching about winter, and haven't started bitching about summer yet, so it is a  universally happy time of year! 

Hope you are looking forward to spring this year as much as I am! 

-D

Revalations

The past year and a half has been quite hard on me. That is partly why I discontinued my old blog, because I did not feel like I was able to express myself on it. Especially since I was going through a particularly dark period.  That is why I revamped this, so I am comfortable enough to tell anyone who cares to listen what is going on in my life and share my feelings and experiences in life.

Before I scare you away let me assure this will not all be sappy sob stories. I am still very much a vibrant lively person with a lot of opinions and humourous stories to share with my devoted followers, wherever they may be! I actually have a bit of a plan in store for myself and this blog that I am looking forward to sticking to, not like before. 

I am going to be sharing much of my life and interests with everyone, including but not limited to:

raising my child (soon to be Children)

school

playing House with my wifey

traveling- including my long time pursuit of making it to France

News stories that interest me

People who piss me off- a.k.a. working at WalleyWorld

Photography

Music 

and more. . . 

Looking forward to starting this journey. 

-D